As a young boy growing up, my life was consumed by games. Some of my most memorable summer evenings were when we could organize a whiffle ball game in the alley which included the dads of some of us neighborhood guys. While we all wanted to win, at the very foundation was the element of fun and having an enjoyable experience. Oh, how times have changed.
Attend just about any little league game or grade school basketball contest and you will be hard-pressed to find the fun factor. Instead, you will be exposed to overbearing parents, coaches who are trying to win at all costs, officials who are berated for nearly every call, and little kids who are feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders trying to meet the expectations of all involved. Youth wrestling tournaments are even more complex and I have often seen way more tears of frustration than smiles of satisfaction.
I understand that society has been accused of coddling kids and that we live in an age where it seems like everybody gets a participation trophy. I do think kids need to learn at a young age that losing is part of extra-curricular activities and that there is nothing wrong with losing as long they gave their best effort. Unfortunately, we have become obsessed with what we determine to be success. Keep in mind that we are talking about kids under the age of 12 who are still learning the fundamentals of their sport.
Let’s face it, in every contest there is going to be a winner and a loser. If our measure of success simply boils down to winning, there are going to be a lot more examples of failure than anything else. Is it any wonder why there doesn’t seem to be much fun at youth sporting events?
Life is not all about having fun, but regardless of your occupation or vocation, at the very foundation you have to enjoy what you are doing. Individuals will never reach their full potential if they don’t. And in the case of young athletes, they will likely have a miserable experience or eventually burn out. At the very least, they will have a warped sense of success. At the very worst, they will suffer from low self-esteem because they will be led to believe that they are a failure.
Trust me, the situation only escalates as children grow older and the stakes (think potential college scholarships) became much greater. While most youngsters likely dream of becoming a professional athlete someday (like I did), in reality, sports were never intended to be a war-zone to determine the survival of the fittest, especially for little kids. Man, what I wouldn’t do to be able to organize one of those whiffle ball games in the alley right about now.
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-Dave Vilhauer, A resident of South Dakota with 39 years of experience in media. He started writing as a junior in high school and has collected many accolades since then. In 2002 he was selected the South Dakota Sports Writer of the Year by the South Dakota High School Coaches Association. then again in 2008 by the National Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association, now known as the National Sports Media Association. He currently is the director of New and sports Information for Hub City Radio. Along with all of that Dave is also the author of his very own book ‘The Parent Trapped Within.’